Let me take you back in time even further. I had been involved in a
10-year abusive relationship with my high school boyfriend. At first it
only happened a few times but over the course of the next year it
occurred more and more frequently and he became very controlling,
to the point that I needed his permission to eat lunch with my friends
(I was only 18 at this time, a senior in high school). I became further
entangled in the web of lies and deceit and ended up moving in with
him, sure that I was in love. The fights became so regular that I
remember, at only age 19 or 20, coming home from work one evening
feeling so down on life wondering “what are we going to fight about
tonight?” My self-esteem had hit an all-time low; I no longer viewed
myself as the smart, energetic, fun person my family and friends had
known me to be. Heck, I was a cheerleader in high school; what
cheerleader isn’t energetic? Instead, I saw myself as stupid, unable to
make quality decisions, and dependent on him to carry me through life.
I was led to believe that, after all the sexual mistakes I had made in life,
that nobody else out there would love a person like me. That nobody
would love me like he “loved” me.

During the next few years, we lived together and apart off and on. Had
even been engaged to be married twice. I became involved in many drugs:
alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, PCP, LSD, pills, you name it, and had even
began dealing to make money. Life was a big party and I was in the fast
lane, living it my way.

After about our 9th year together I became very displeased with life and
knew there had to be something more than this for me but was still under
the umbrella of lies that told me this was it for me. Love it or leave it. I
didn’t have the guts to commit suicide and could only think about how it
would leave my mother miserable and sad so I guessed this was how I
was going to live my life forever. Hopeless, poor, lost and miserable.

Then God sent a man into my life that would help steer me in the right
direction. My husband. We met at work and my spirit knew that this was
the man I was intended to marry. I finally ended my relationship with my
boyfriend to begin dating this new man. He was different. Even though
we never really discussed God and church, I learned that he had done
missionary work with a church he had been involved in years before. This
was enough to at least tell me that he had some form of faith. And best
of all, I knew he wasn’t abusive.

After our relationship started to become more serious, I found out that I
was pregnant with my ex-boyfriend’s child. I was really shaken up; I didn’t
know whether I should return to my ex or tough it out. I knew, however,
that God did not want me to raise this child in the environment I had just
left behind so I toughed it out. This man I had recently begun dating told
me that he “loved me and would love my child.” I knew then that this man
was truly a gift from God and He had sent him to help me through this
time in life.

The following Easter, my new boyfriend and I visited the church I had
grown up attending. We were invited to attend a Wednesday bible study
on couples, which we did, and from that point on he and I have attended
the church and later joined as members.

Five years later, enter the women’s conference I mentioned. I attended
the Time to Fly introductory workshop but something very unique
happened while I was there. While I was watching a video they presented,
God spoke very clearly to me. He said “you need to help them.” I knew
by that He meant that I was to volunteer for the organization. To the best
of my memory, I had never really clearly heard from God prior to this but
there was no mistaking on Whose voice I was hearing. I inquired and, as
if the Holy Spirit told her directly, the Founder/President knew that I not
just wanted to volunteer but I also needed to attend the training program
that Time to Fly offers. So I applied and was accepted. I thought I had
moved on from my tumultuous relationship…after all, I was in a happy
marriage and was living the “right” life now. God had taken me away from
the drugs and sick lifestyle I had been living, I was healed…or so I
thought. I later realized how much I was still hanging on to after all
this time.

I can’t say enough about how Time to Fly has changed my life. I had been
saved before I attended but now I FELT saved. I KNEW that God loved
me and I now had some idea about how much He loved me. It was as if
the doors and windows of Heaven had been opened up to me and God
was saying to me “welcome, daughter.”

I learned what a good relationship was supposed to look like and I learned
what a relationship was NOT supposed to be. This program helped me to
become a better person in so many areas; I no longer got so worked up
over little things, I learned how my words would either build up my husband
and children or tear them down. I don’t get as angry as I used to before.
Yes, I still get upset about things but they’re handled so much differently
than before. I know how to deal with my husband when he’s upset. I am
leaning on Christ more and more for everything rather than “my own
understanding.” Through Time to Fly, I have learned how to view myself
as God does, not as society views me. My self-esteem has never been
higher. I don’t like to consider it self-esteem, however, I prefer Christ-
esteem. My esteem is in Him, not me. It is because of Him that I am who
I am.

I have been volunteering for Time to Fly for nearly two years now and have
been able to use my natural, God-given gifts and talents to serve Him.
Through the Time to Fly training, He is growing my parental skills, my
leadership skills, my communication skills, and my “corporate” skills for
the work environment. Time to Fly is allowing these skills to grow and I
feel like a flower in full bloom.

I now look back on my abuse experiences as a gift of sorts. If it were not
for what I had been through, I would not have been able to help at least
two women, both already very close friends of mine, attend Time to Fly
and receive the same training and blessings that I did. I have told so many
women about it that I have no idea just how many other women have taken
the course. God took something so awful and dirty and evil and used it to
help others. I have finally found my purpose in life, the direction in which I
need to be going. I will continue to serve Him in this way as long as He
allows and pray that as long as I live there will be a Time to Fly helping
other women who have gone through what I went through turn their lives
around like it turned mine around.

For more information on the Time to Fly Foundation mission, how to
support the work or dates on upcoming workshops, please visit
www.timetofly.org.
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